


I never said that we would die together (that doesn’t mean it was a lie)

by LouiseLouise



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Deaths, M/M, Plural, how to rip your heart out in 500 words or less
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 13:41:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21357157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouiseLouise/pseuds/LouiseLouise
Summary: Eddie's street fighting habit has brought him to the hospital and Buck's heart might not handle it.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 14
Kudos: 116





	I never said that we would die together (that doesn’t mean it was a lie)

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn't end well, because I felt like making myself cry.
> 
> Eddie's family is there and so is the firefam, but they don't really act in the story, so I didn't tag them.
> 
> Title from the song Forever, by Lewis Capaldi.
> 
> Unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.

He’s standing near the door of the hospital room, behind Eddie’s family, behind Bobby. Behind Christopher holding Carla’s hand.

He just needs to hold Eddie for a minute, even ten seconds would be- what it would be though, Buck’s not sure. Relief? The beginning of grief? Ten last seconds of hoping for a miracle?

Eddie’s heart is still beating but it’s probably just the machines, Buck knows the drill. His best friend is gone and Buck only realizes he was way more than that. Even losing his job didn’t left that much of an empty space in his own heart. It was anger and frustration and he’d felt hopeless for a while, but life was going on, even if Buck felt left out of it.

Now, this, Eddie almost lifeless in that sad hospital bed, steps away from him yet unreachable, that felt like the end of the world. Like not being able to breathe when the waves came crashing during the tsunami, except there’s not even a shore to try to get back to.

Buck leaves the room, feeling useless, feeling like he doesn’t belong there and his feelings are too much, and definitely not valid.

Who is he to feel like he’s the one hurting the most, when Eddie’s parents are seating on the edge of his bed, hugging Christopher, hugging him like he’s all they have left of Eddie. Christopher is all Buck has left from Eddie and Buck is gonna lose him too, he realizes, because they’re gonna bring him back with them to Texas.

Then it’s just gonna be Buck, alone in his apartment, alone at the firehouse, alone.

Buck’s heart can’t take more of that pain and he lets his feet lead him outside, in the cold air of November, where the noises of the hospital get distant and the voices around seem to quiet down. 

Everything is a blur as he starts walking away, not noticing the red light, not noticing the bus leaving its stop, not noticing he’s standing in the middle of the road at the busiest hour of the day.

His head hits the concrete floor and it should hurt, it should, he knows all about pain, his leg remembers, his entire body remembers, but right now everything is numb, around him, inside of him.

There’s nothing out there for him to try and stay awake, so he doesn’t. 

Maybe Eddie’s waiting for him on the other side, maybe if he believes it, it’ll be true, and maybe they can be happy over there, more than they could’ve been happy in this lifetime.


End file.
